Fathers Day

Fathers Day weekend was just wonderful for me. I got to hang out with the kids, managed to get some things done that i had on my to do list and I thank my wonderful wife and kids for making the day really special for me. Me being a father is harder than I ever, ever imagined it would be. When I was younger, from the outside looking in, being a father seemed so easy. I have learned that it is one of the most difficult, yet rewarding things a man can do. Being a daddy in this family is even harder. As a dad, my natural instinct is to protect. Moms have the nurturing spirit, but a father is a protecter and a provider. Watching Dawson suffer daily.. and watching Ashlyn and Katelin have to deal with the every second of the day managing diabetes has taken a lot out of me. In a second, if the choice was given, I would take the seizures and diabetes from them and give it to myself. Like i said, my instinct is to protect and I can't protect them from this, and deep down in places I dont ever talk about it kills me. Watching them have to go through this just kills me.

But then i watch them go through this, and i watch them prevail. I watch Dawson battle through seizure after seizure after seizure. I watch him battle through wicked drugs that have awful side effects. I watch the girls battle through numerous blood checks daily, injections of insulin, having low blood sugar, having high blood sugar. Im watching these young kids go through this on a daily basis and i see how strong and determined they are. As a father i couldn't be more proud. I have four of the most incredible kids a dad could ask for!! ( and an amazing wife who keeps me together through it all)

Allison is on vacation this week and she is hanging out with the kids.. Poor thing, Dawson was really rough on her today!! He has not had a very good day today. Lots of seizures so far and VERY clingy. I dont think shes been able to get off the couch with him for more than a few minutes. We got a little pool for him to splash around in and he hates it. He LOVES taking a bath but hates the pool. Go figure. Hopefully he will be in a better mood for her tomorrow.

We talked to his Neuro this afternoon and we have decided to decrease his Zonegran. Its not doing anything as far as we can tell and I know most of these meds can hinder learning and development. Soooooo were decreasing and adding Banzel which has its own fun side effects. Dawson seems to be very sensitive to the side effects so were kind of anxious to see what happens.

We are prayerful and hopeful that maybe Banzel will be his magic drug..... we'll see

In the meantime, despite the seizures, he is learning.. It is slow but it is an always steady progress. Hes learing to count and is still saying new words every now and again. I really dont care how slow we go forward... just as long as we dont go backwards!!

God continues to bless us and i am so proud to be Madison, and Dawson, and Katelin, and Ashlyn's daddy!!

Jeff