Mr Emotional

This blog has been brewing in my mind for a few days now. The only problem I have is how do I explain what were dealing with with Dawson without making him sound like some demonic two year old.....

So let me say in the very beginning of this blog that what I am describing to you is not an all day event but there are periods of the day that he just doesn't seem OK. What I am addressing are those periods.

If you've been following this blog for any length of time you have heard me at one time or another mention Dawson and some of his, what I call, " rage issues." You have also heard me question weather or not its med related ( he still takes Keppra) seizure related ( hes still having seizures) or two year old related ( he is still two)

For the most part, Allison and I are at our witts end as to what to do with him right now. There is just no way it seems to keep him happy. One minute he is happy and litterally one second later he just starts freaking out. He bites pacifiers almost in two, grits his teeth, starts throwing things, becomes violent sometimes, and then starts flinging himself all over the place. Once this starts, there is no stopping him until he is ready to stop.

As soon as it began, its over. Until he starts again. Sometimes only moments later, sometimes 30 min later, and sometimes hours later. The point is, it always starts again. He seems like a ticking time bomb for the most part and we just aren't sure what to do about it.

Some might hold their noses in the air and arrogantly say " that young man needs more discipline in the home." ( trust me when I say there has been plenty of discipline in this house when it comes to these outburst)

Others might clasp their hands together and say" poor poor child, all he needs is to be loved and held through these tough moments until the fit passes." ( trust me when I say that method is practiced in this home over and over and over again)

I'm sure there are those who with arms folded would say " You should just turn around and act like he is not there when hes acting that way. He is only doing that to get your attention."
( trust me when I say..... ahh you get the point)

All these things have been tried and none of them really work for him. We have very successfully raised 3 other children past the toddler stages, and the terrible two woes with no difficulties but this is very different than anything I have seen.

We have become prisoners in our own home because we do not dare take him out in public like this. Not because we would ever be embarrassed but because its just easier to deal with him at home as opposed to some restaurant or shopping place. We did try and venture out Saturday to the mall with him as it seemed he was having one of his better days. We wanted to eat at
Chic-Fil-A in the food court. Ya know just normal family stuff. We stood in line, ordered the food, found a table to eat at, started eating, Dawson ate a couple of waffle fries, and I guess on about the fourth or fifth one he decided he didn't like them, and went off the deep end.

Here are some other things that send him off the deep end....

Telling him no, giving him cheese when he asks for it, giving him juice when he asks for it, trying to give him his meds, falling down, asking him what he wants, making him say " UP" when he wants to be picked up, asking him if hes ready for night night, giving him the wrong sippy cup,
and all kinds of other simple things like this will completely send him off the deep end.

It is very very frustrating for us as we have been " secretly" dealing with this for quite some time. The older he gets, the more frustrated we seem to be getting. I guess in a way, as a parent, I feel as though I have failed in some way. I see the family getting into a mindset of whatever you do dont upset Dawson, and things are getting to the breaking point I feel.

Allison and I both feel as though Keppra plays a pretty big part in this. The drug is known for its side effects of moodiness and rage. B6 is supposed to make this better but it does nothing for Dawson. We are ready to pull the plug on Keppra as they have not made his seizures any better.

I placed a call to his Neuro today. waving the white flag, and pleading for help. We just can't continue to go on like this. She is working us in next Monday evening and said we will definitely be making some changes in the med department. We were supposed to start the Modified Atkins Diet weeks and weeks ago, but I told her today that we can't even begin to try it until he get his moods under better control. Something is going on that is making him miserable in order to act this way and we feel that taking away the foods he loves to eat will only complicate these issues. I know the diet needs to be tried and we are wanting to try it, but under different circumstances. He/we can only take so much. And its not just us... Allison and I both have to work to take care of the family and so while were working during the day the Grandparents get to deal with all of these lovely things. If your reading this Grandparents, please know how much we love and appreciate the dedication you have towards helping us with Dawson. What in the world would we do without you??!!

I must mention, in all fairness, that this evening and tonight Dawson has been an absolute angle!! he has been funny and playful, talking up a storm and having the best time. We really really needed this tonight. God must have known we were at our mental breaking points!!

Please pray for us in this area. Mostly pray for Dawson. At the end of the day, all we want is for him to be happy. We prefer happy with no seizures ,but just being happy would be pretty awesome right now.

God bless and our love goes out to all!!

Jeff and Allison