A New Chapter

Four weeks ago we began a new chapter, one we are not foreign to but one I wish my brave little boy didn't have to endure. Dawson has Type 1 Diabetes. I personally have had a difficult time with this new diagnosis. Jeff's two oldest daughters both have Type 1 so I know full well that everything will be ok and this can be managed but I just felt so defeated by this. My little guy has already been through so much. So many seizures, so many tests, so many procedures...enough! He has been through enough! But he has faced this head on, checking his own blood sugar within the first week and giving himself his own shots within the second. Such courage, such fearlessness! I am beyond proud of him, I am in awe of him, I am inspired by him. The first week was really hard for me, I was kinda depressed and like I said...defeated. I still am not in full acceptance yet, I'll get there, He will get me there, but right now I'm just not. I talked with God about it, He knows Im still angry and a little bitter. I know it doesn't do anyone, including Dawson, any good for me to be feeling this way but I do. I'm working on it, I am. Seeing my little boy persevere helps. He truly is amazing. He has adjusted to this like it was nothing and I guess to him it wasn't too big a deal because he has known about diabetes his whole life. Because his older sisters have Type 1, he knew all about it to begin with, nothing was a huge surprise other than him having to get a shot with each meal and at bedtime himself. The first couple of days were a challenge to get him to get his shot, it would take 20 minutes or more to calm him down enough to get him to let us administer the shot. But now he does it himself like its nothing. He has accepted it, this is life, he eats...he needs insulin, thats it. I just wish my brave little boy didn't have to see what his blood sugar is, count how many carbs he has eaten, figure out how much insulin he needs, get a shot at least four times a day...ITS NOT FAIR!!!!!! He doesn't say that though, thats all me. He only said something like that once and that was on like day two, he was crying and said "mom, I wish it could back to the way it used to be"... me too baby, me too!